Taking the plunge in clown feet

Always sort your plumbing out first thing in the morning, seems like good advice. So after sorting my plumbing ,I sorted the plumbing. The bathroom sink kept blocking so the night before I put bleach down and the plughole and then after  ablutions I was ready with the plunger.

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I digress but never mind. I bought the plunger a few months ago and left it in the downstairs spare room. Hearing some conversation from my daughter and one of her friends I was puzzled. Thoughts occurred  to me. Did Bilbo have a brother?  So I asked and received a gleeful explanation. My plunger apparently looked like a black dildo..Aaarrrrrgggggg my daughter knew about sex toys. Knew enough to perhaps  mention something that would sound completely inappropriate to a friends parent. Any. parent out there will understand why that makes me cringe.

Back to yesterday.

After unblocking the sink, I checked my email finding a refund for a car engine had not been repaid. A message telling me I had one day to return it. My car had recently broken down and needed a new engine but the first I bought wasn’t in a fit state to use.so I retuned it. I couldn’t really afford  the repairs anyway but they had to be done. Having to buy a second engine complicated my finances needlessly.

Originally they sent me a Royal Mail label. I could just stick it on and get on with it just slip the engine  down to the local post office. So I emailed the seller detailing some practicalities and they sent a courier .One problem I can’t report it as dispatched as I don’t have the shipping number . Needing to go to work but needing to address this first I was late for work.

Not only late for work but in trainers rather than shoes which breaks the dress code. My work shoes falling apart and my spare pairs too small.If you put on weight fat doesn’t stop at the ankles. With the help of gravity it gets down to your feet too. So in my lunchbreak I visited the shoeshop. Although everything that was about to happen was completely predictable I was not expecting this to be complicated.

I checked out the shoes in the sale and took a right shoe and asked for the left to try it on. It was a size 11 bigger than I had before. The assistant asked me to try the right one on first. At the moment I am a little under medicated making me stiffer than normal and when I bend to put shoes on I get out of breath. I had anticipated trying the left first but instead started a display which looked as though I had no idea how to put on a shoe. The assistant decided to help equipped with good intentions and a shoe horn neither of which was she sure how to use. Anyway we get the shoe on and having made a show of myself it is time for the encore with the left foot but it is a much quicker process.

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I look down and answer question for the shop assistant. “Yes they are comfortable “, “yes this bigger size fits.” Yes I have clown feet. Luckily this was not said out loud. As I walk back to my office it sems my toes now race my belly to be there first. On the brightside if it snows I have skis and if it floods I have my own pair of canoes.

I pay for the shoes and head back to work. I guess I just need to put my best foot forward.

Thanks for reading

Best wishes

Jon

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Cars

Just a brief note today.

I have heard it said that people often have cars like themselves. Needs a new engine, has appetite for a lot of fuel, makes strange noises, body work no longer immaculate and its sporty days are in the past. I have no idea where they get that from that is nothing like me.

My car is off the road at the moment awaiting a new engine. I broke down about three weeks ago. The car stall at traffic lights on a main road when I was turning right.at the busiest time of day. Yes my car had all the timing of a spurned ex lover awaiting the besttime to kick you when you are down.

Luckily  the lorry driver behind me realises I have a problem and helps me with a push taking me clear of the main road and blocking a busy company drive. The car too heavy for me to push while steering so I go into a community hall on the other side of the road. I have seen people dressed in fitness gear but as I approach I realise this is some sort of “recovery” exercise class with not a fit person in sight. On explaining my problem a volunteer says he can help and thankfully we together move the car onto the pavement.

IP stumble up the road to the garage who tell me later in the day I need a new engine. Three weeks later after an engine returned to Asda I await another. It has been the hardest of periods, journeys take longer, less convenient and consequently less freedom. I am so lucky that people have given me a lot of help. I can’t wait to be driving again though.

Walking

Six years ago I trekked to Machu Picchu in the mountains. Five years ago I walked 26 miles in a day on a sponsored walk.
Since then I put on 4 stone in weight and become much less active. My car broke down recently and needs a new engine.Despite others help it is a difficult period.I bought a new engine for the car but it is no good and needs returned. I have return labels to take to the garage so I will leave early from work.
I do an office job and although I move about can be quite stiff when first moving. I leave work at3.30 with rucksack on my back and start to walk through the town.The initial part of the walk s uphill. I walk stiffly with slight Parkinsons shuffle legs almost immediatly weary. I trudge on. My left hip aching as I walk feeling embarassed by my slowness just taking one step after another stopping twice for a brief pause on my way up the hill. The discomfort persists until I reach the top of the hill.I have only shuffled a quarter of a mile of a 2 mile journey to the garage but most of it is level or downhill.I keep going my legs loosening up but still walking slowly but feeling less tired. This takes me for maybe half a mile passing a butchers that sells very good Cornish Pasties(-one tip if you want to have a good Cornish Pasty Butchers are often better than bakers because they use better meat.)
I decide to have a pasty. I decide not have a pasty. I decide to have a pasty if they have any left. None are visible and usually they would be sold out by this time in the afternoon. So I ask if any are left and yes there is a large steak pasty the butcher retrieves from the back. I havea pasty and it is not my fault fate conspired against me. No small or medium pasties just a large. I have always found attaching the words small or medium to a pasty to be offensive. I would probably campaign against Brexit if EU laws said all pasties must be large Small pasties are morally wrong leading a person down the road of needing more than one.
If you haven’t already guessed my overweight stature has a link to overeating and I am currently on a program of reducing my main Parkinson’s medication to help me gain some control over this. I over eat particularly in an evening or at night. I discovered about a month ago on putting new batteries in the scales I was over 17 stone and removing layers of clothing would not take me under it. Despite my pasty I believe I am starting to see more resistance to my compulsivre eating since reducing the meds responsible for the side effect of compulsive behaviour.
I walked on eating my pasty. Walked at a normal pace shuffle gone. The pasty became my early dinner and did boost my energy level. It was another half mile at least until my legs again felt tired but more than halfway to the garage I steadily continued. At one point I coughed so deeply I almost  gave myself a groin strain. Getting closer now but having to cross at busy junction and watch traffic from four directions. I performed a maneouvre weaving through traffic that deserved the Red Arrows trademark coloured smoke trail left behind but was not a contender for a road safety award.
I finished my journey to the garage knowing it was about a further approimately 2.25-2.5 miles home but I could call a taxi. After 15 minutes my legs feeling normal I strode down the road.bizarrely my legs completely loosened up by walking did not feel tired. Now on plan B there are 3 potential stops where I can get a taxi if i can’t continue. After a half mile of downhill I face my first small incline. My arthritic left knee starts to protest so I lead with theother leg my Parkinson’s side pulling me up the hill.It works pain in my knee abates. I keep going for almost a mile. The last ile starts with about 0.4 mile steep uphill, o.1 mile flat and the final half a mile downhill. I stop 3 times on the firs half ofthe hill. My walking dferently to appease my knee seems to be upsetting my hip. Legs now very tired steps shortened to half stride I get to the top of the hill.After walking past the final pub on route another Prkinsons problem rears its head. Bladder urgency. I realise that it comes in waves. My next thought is don’t think water I may think of fountains or taps next.Too late to stop a thought but I mentally tie my bladder up averting disaster. My final step on tired legs take me home thankfully making it to my bathroom.
There nmust e somebody wondering why didn’t I get a taxi. My walking time since leaving wrk was 2 hours. Afew years ago I could have done this easily in an hour and a quarter. If you have read this far you must have a concept of endurance. Fitness does not follow a linear downward path. I walked to remind myself I can. I may not ever get back to being able to do 26 miles walking in a day. but so what?, fitness can be influenced and improved by making the right choices. I walked to remind myself that.
Thanks for reading
Take care
Jon